Home Sweet Home

Do you ever have the feeling like you are longing for home...yet you ARE home? Sometimes I feel like I am missing something, someone. Yet, I am home with my husband my children, surrounded by my things. Everything is familiar to me, even belongs to me. And after pondering this feeling for years I have finally been able to acknowledge where this feeling comes from. It comes at times when life is most hectic for me, when I am hurting emotionally or physically, when I am needing comfort for some reason or another. I am longing for my real home; my Heavenly Home. My soul starts to long for the peace that comes from that special place. And whether my mind remembers it specifically is completely irrelevant, because my spirit does. Learning to recognize this and to be able to acknowledge it for what it is has been life changing for me. It has helped me to be able to comprehend a little bit more that we are "spiritual beings having an earthly experience". Now, if all this is true, and my heart tells me that it is, then wouldn't it make sense that when we are feeling especially homesick our Heavenly Father would send us something to remind us of home, something to connect us with home? I believe that he does. I believe that he has done that for me. Only it has not been something, it has been someone. I have felt privileged to have been sent special people that I have connected with. That even with in a few moments of meeting I have had that crazy feeling of "I know you from somewhere". In my youth I questioned these types of feelings wondering if maybe I was a bit crazy. But as a gracious Heavenly Father has allowed me to experience more of these types of experiences I have been able to acknowledge them for what they are: my life line to home. These special friends have come at different times in different ways and yet the feeling is the same. "I know you. I have always known you". And in understanding that my Heavenly Father is so mindful of me (and what may seem like my insignificant problems) that he would prepare someone else's life to coincide with mine, that we would meet at the right place, and the right time, and in the right way, overwhelms me with gratitude. And I am learning always to trust him. So this is to the few special friends of mine that I have always known. Thank-you for finding me and recognizing me, loving me despite all of my faults and shortcomings, for being able to see who I "really" am, and for making me feel "at home".

Another Max Mess

I was sick with pneumonia; couldn't even get out of bed for 2 days. I finally had the sense to seek medical help and was diagnosed with "Walking Pneumonia". I had just started antibiotics when I awoke to this. "Kill me", I thought. No seriously, Kill me. Max had learned overnight how to push the bar stool over to the other side of the kitchen. And his cupboard of choice was my grain cupboard. He opened sacks of barley, oats and wheat and I am sure giggled delightfully as he poured them onto the floor watching each single grain bounce and dance a hundred times before standing still. Next, he moved onto the baking cupboard and found the powdered sugar. I imagined his smiling face as he stuck his chubby little fingers into the bag and threw fistfuls of it up into the air. Each powdered puff landing a little onto his lashes and nose. And AGAIN I was faced with the dilemma of screaming, crying or fetching my camera. That face. How I adore that face. I could look at it a hundred times a day and never tire of it. As I was snapping the shots Tim happened in on the mess and said to me, "Why are you taking pictures of this!?? This isn't cute! This isn't something we should celebrate! This isn't something for your blog!!" I kind of chucked and was on the verge of either laughing hysterically or sobbing. And I said, "You know, this isn't funny now. I know that. Boy do I know that. I have a fever of 102. I have been in bed for 2 days. I KNOW THIS ISN"T FUNNY! But I am desperately hoping that someday it will be. Maybe someday I will be able to look at ALL of these messes and laugh. I need to believe that some day all of this crap will be funny!!!!" A bit crazy I am sure I was, and I'm pretty sure I scared the poor guy because he slowly left the kitchen and let me be. Spencer must have seen he was losing his mother to the dark side too and he started to help. And as I finished the kitchen I moved to the basement where an entire bag of shredded wheat had been dumped/crushed on the couch and floor. Heaven help me.

Love Day

Today we celebrated Valentines Day (2/13/09). We had our family dinner and called it our LOVE DINNER. The kids each helped me decorate the table and put the food on it. Then we each were able to express one thing that we LOVE about each and every member of our little family. The candles were lit and their expressions were full of excitement. They felt so special. I love days like this.